My dad always told me, “Never say something that at a later
time you wish you hadn’t said…” That’s why I blog. Go home or go hard. People who put things in writing I feel, have
a bigger set of balls than the rest. You may not like me or maybe you do, but I
always shoot pretty straight from the hip.
I never share things like this, but the more “out there” I
become, the more people who follow, like, share, subscribe and friend me… I
like to give you insight into my personality, head, heart and maybe just cast a
little light that you’re not alone in dealing with BS.
I posted a very quick rant on Facebook today. It’s
interesting to see who comments, privately emails and the people who actually
pick up the phone concerned about me. Now that’s pretty amazing. Today, someone
in the music business, who I consider a damn good friend, called just to check
in.
Sure, I rant… we all do. But here’s a little tid bit on what
you may not know.
I post photos of myself of fitness, work out, show outfits
and clothing that I think I look good in. That’s my prerogative and my privilege
as a woman. I also post things on different pages. For example, I don’t post
rants on a band page. That really doesn’t have to do with music does it? J. Any woman should be able to express herself
and her sexuality in any way shape or form she sees fit. But? She shall deal
with the consequences of her actions. I get that. But just so YOU know &
understand, the people, the men who bother me the most, never saw those
photographs or images. No swimsuit shots, no fitness modeling. Mostly me
showing up looking like my usual crapola self from a work out, or in my dad’s
1970’s ripped navy blue sweatshirt I constantly wear & repair. That’s pretty
much me on any given daily.
I had a kid contact me. I do school talks. Motivational
tours. He was talking about suicide. Serious business people. I’m sure many of
you don’t know sometimes I speak to 15,000 to 20,000 students in one week. Many
at last chance schools for those who are really messed up, or chemical
dependency centers for young adults. Again, serious, raw & gritty stuff.
You’d never know that looking at me. But it’s what I do during some of my days.
This child was at the end of his rope, literally, from being
bullied and picked on. And I get it. It was all I dealt with in school, and I
deal with it still. I’m just stronger and can now handle it. This kid couldn’t.
I have code words I give the students at these motivational talks. They can
find me anywhere by writing those words in a subject line. That’s a big S.O.S
or 911. So I dropped everything and called the child.
We got to the bottom of it. Parents were notified and I
called the school the next morning. They helped and got the boy to a safe
place. They thanked me for calling.
Least I could do.
A week later though, now an “official” had my cell. And? The
“texts” started coming in… Really? Was that really necessary? No. It wasn’t.
Again, I deal with it a lot being a decent looking woman.
“Report the person who did that!” “Get them fired!” Not a
chance. That book gets closed. I said my words to that official, but these scenarios
everyone is so quick to think they know how they would handle it… you don’t.
And you wouldn’t. Me blowing the whistle get some pretty important people I
know in trouble. It makes them look badly and paints them in a negative light
for giving me a chance to talk at a school. So quiet I stay.
The same thing happened in TNA wrestling. When I went to management
with a severe sexual harassment complaint. Again, me saying one word would have
eliminated all funds and investments from their financial lifeline. No one
really knows about that either. Jerry Jarret wrote about it in his last book though.
If I would have opened my mouth everyone would have lost their jobs, their
dreams and for some their last chance. Not on my watch. The man calling and
leaving me messages, cornering me, basically offering to rape me at any given
minute worked for Panda Electric in TX. He was their financial liaison. He
eventually was fired from Panda for embezzlement. I could have had the biggest
lawsuit ever. I had all the proof. It was disgusting. But watching my peers and
some of my friends climb the ladder of success was more important. Ironically I
was let go from TNA for false rumors from a wrestler, that I would sue TNA Wrestling
if I took a bad bump… No hard feelings. Business is business, but I think if I were
going to sue, I would have done it already. J
Just a little insight into my life, why I get hot about bags
of douche bothering me that I really don’t even know. It’s about respect
really. Respect the women you see out there. For the most part, we are pretty
cool chicks. Just making our way the only way we know how. J Some in pants, some in
short skirts, some in dress blues. However you slice it, we should be given
some respect for just putting up with what a lot of us do.
That much I know. @Goldyknows
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