Men & Spiders get scared too!

I had this idea for this blog this morning. You see I had a very upsetting night last night. I was feeling alone and in a weird spot. It's a place I've been in many times in my life. It's scary, it's debilitating. Only now I'm getting better at handling things. 

I thought a lot about what was bothering me. Then I woke up to a sign from God... a message. You can call it what you want, you can even make fun of me! I don't care. I've got a pretty solid relationship with the Big Guy upstairs so I like to just tell it to you how I see it.

I was excited and opened a package on my doorstep. I guess I forgot to throw away all the tape. A daddy long leg spider had become trapped. It was just laying there. Depleted, depressed and isolated. We are supposed to be afraid of spiders. Some can hurt us. So small and sometimes so deadly. But this little guy wasn't a threat. 

I wondered if I could get him off the tape without damaging his legs? How strong was this little guy?

Luckily it was cheap tape! And I kept carefully trying to pry his little legs free. I'd get one loose and then another would get stuck! Ugh!

We finally got all but one free from the trap. And when I gently released the last little tentacle, he ran off with joy! All legs working and intact. And it made me cry.

Not because I'm a girl, or going through hormonal issues mind you... lol... but because I realized spiders get scared too. And you know what? So do men.

I was upset last night because a client is just getting out of hand. So many of my men clients do. I don't understand why they think my services come with a tour of my vagina? Or a trip to the good ole uterus. Lol. But they don't. I don't carry myself like that. I have talent, pride, and confidence. So why do so many only see me for the wrong reason? They won't stop. I get sad. I get down. I wonder if I rock the boat? If I speak? Stand up for myself? Set boundaries... will they still pay? Will I get more work?

It's scary. You can weigh in all you want... bla bla bla... ask for a deposit, sue them... you're not an independent contractor. We live in a different world than you. We don't have 401k's, benefits, health insurance, HR... it's actually a different planet we work on.

I mentioned this to a client today while shooting his photos. He's a male mind you... in a similar situation with a client. He gets scared too. He wonders if he will get paid? Will people use his services again if he speaks his mind? It's difficult when you're an independent contractor. The rules are blurry most of the time.

So I got to thinking... I want to be better about wrapping people in love, kindness, assurance and making them feel protected. Like you have someone's back. I want to be more aware of the people around me and how they feel, what they are experiencing and going through. And I challenge you to do the same. Get your head out of your own self-serving @$$ once in a while with me would you? See what simple things you can do for people that don't cost a thing. Help them feel loved and secure. We've got to do more for our neighbors then we do. We would have a different world.

So then next time you're feeling vulnerable, alone or like it's you against the world... ESPECIALLY if you're a man. Just remember, men and spiders get scared too. And it's ok. You're not alone. Push through and find comfort in the fact someone else at that very moment is paralleling your feelings. Speak out loud to them. Even if it seems silly. Tell them, "whoever you are it will be ok." I think God and the Universe hear those prayers and affirmations. It will make you feel better too.

#GoldyKnows