Tuesday, January 16, 2024

Boners & Lap Dances



What A title. I’m proud of this one because I know it will get some clicks.


I just had to share this epic story with you because it's got all the right vibes! πŸ•Ί

For ages, I've been rocking out to Alanis Morissette's "You Ought To Know" during my shows. Picture this: I call out for any "players in the house," and voila! Someone's always ready to volunteer their buddy! Hands raise and fingers point to all the nearby friends throwing them under the bus as the evening’s biggest player.

I always add, “Come on ladies and gentlemen you can hate the player just not the game.”

Photo credit: Danny Schnuk 

Now, here's the twist! I bring the chosen one on stage, could be a guy or even a lady (no discrimination here!), hand them a random TV remote control, and treat them to a surprise neck rub. By the first measure, everyone knows what song it is and usually goes crazy because it's the anthem of an angry woman scorned.

All the while, I'm secretly sharing a special message in their ear.

But wait, the burning question at the end of the night: do these awesome folks ever get a boner? πŸ€” Let me rewind to a memorable night in Afghanistan—9/11, 2011. Thousands of people, and I decide to pull out this crowd-stopping number. Here's the scoop: not a single guy, especially those from the US military, ever got an erection. These fellas are 1,000% professional, even in the wildest nightclub settings!

Now, let me spill the beans on the hidden message. As I'm whispering sweet nothings and straddling their lap, I'm not spicing things up; I'm actually saying, “When I sit on your lap, I need you to lean backward and don't drop me.” And guess what? Every single guy takes this command super seriously, like their life depends on it.

I'll never forget the show in Afghanistan. High stool, risky moves, and the trust these guys placed in me were phenomenal. As the song's bridge approached, I felt their arms lock down on my legs, ensuring a flawless performance. When I flipped back up, a quick kiss on the cheek, a heartfelt look, and a whispered “Thank you.”

It's a beautiful and intimate moment I've been blessed to share with amazing men across America and beyond. This experience is a glimpse into the incredible qualities of men—awesome, strong, protective, and loving.

So, a massive shoutout and thank you to all the fantastic men I've crossed paths with on the road! πŸ™Œ Special kudos to Johnny Johnson (a name so nice you have to say it twice who is pictured.).
Photo credit: "Hunter"

The whole reason I called that song last weekend was because he was so polite and helpful in putting away chairs and props from a previous song. He stepped right up without being asked. This is a RARITY. Danny Schnuck, also, an honorary band/family member helps every show without question. Cheers to the great males on the road and in our lives!

Here's to the great males on the road and in our lives! πŸ₯‚ God bless you all, especially our US Military. XO πŸ’™πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ

#GoldyKnows #GoldyLocks #GoldylockSBand #LiveMusic #Men #DatingAdvice

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Boners & Lap Dances

What A title. I’m proud of this one because I know it will get some clicks. I just had to share this epic story with you because it's go...

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