Monday, September 15, 2014

“Boy”, “Toilet” and “Poop” humor

I have it. Always have. If you think Will Farrell, John C. Reilly, Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Steve Carell or Vince Vaughn are funny, then we would probably get a long. 

If spending an evening guesting on Dr. Steve Brule’s show sounds fun, then you would like me. I have stupid humor, it’s brutally dry, usually borderline offensive and always unapologetic.

My mom had Crohn’s Disease since I was born. She was always very very sick. I moved from many different homes of family, teachers, heck even a convent took me in as my dad is disabled also, and I could be a handful! When my mom was home from the hospital she was constantly crapping her pants. Every where we’d go, crapolla. We learned to make fun of it, joke, make light of every situation. I know this disease annihilated my mother’s self esteem… Even as a small child I picked up on that. But our humor, laughter and stupidity made it tolerable.

Have you ever noticed some people just don’t “get it?” Lol… I do EVERY DAY!

All week long on Twitter I’ve been messing with people. So many of my wrestling buddies “get it” and respond with dry, quick humor that I cherish. Friday night I chose @ScottyMcCreery. We were talking about him and I just decided to post stupid stuff. I seriously had tears running down my face, as my band mate did an impromptu iPad photo-shoot at our hotel.

It was terrible. Horrible stupid pix that no one in their right mind would think I was being serious taking. Lol.

Well, some peeps in the McCreery camp didn’t think it was funny. One woman told me to “Stop with my porn sh!t” Bahaha. Good Lord maybe she doesn’t get out much? With all the “Porno” online, I think I’m a far cry… Have you seen my butt? Lol. It wouldn’t make it in those fine cinemas for 2 sec flat!

As I read the “HATE” being tweeted back, more tears came! “Hate Hate Hate!” I felt like I was in a Chappelle Playa Hata’s Ball episode! But it was because if they had ANY idea, just how funny and completely stupid most of my family are… well, they’d see the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Bahaha.

So I will leave you with this: For those of you who “Just Don’t Get It…”
I’m sorry for your loss… of HUMOR!

This is another impromptu front yard photo shoot my dad and I just decided to do my last visit home. After packing up my recently desist mother’s clothing for charity you find yourself empty, lost and drained. You put these clothes into anonymous empty brown card board boxes knowing you will never see these items someone you love, loved and wore. Words can’t explain it. But we managed to save a wig or too and even a big black furry hat. And with my stupid, not right, irreverent sense of humor, THIS is what happened…

Peeps, LAUGH! SMILE! REJOICE! Find the “funny” every chance you get. My terminally ill mom lived to be 82. That was no accident. She sustained her life through being just flat out RIDICULOUS! And I’m proud I have the sense of humor I do. Because I come by it SOOOOO honestly!

And? If you don’t think I’m funny, well, I really don’t care. Because on ANY given day, the people who matter to me the most DO! That’s YOU! When making some stupid and UGLY selfies I posted, THIS is what you all decided to BLESS me with! 
And THIS is why I love you!

XXOO #GoldyKnows •  

#GoldyKnows #GoldyLocksRocks #Ellen #GoldyLocksBand #JimmyFallon #HGTV #TLC #ChelseaLately

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