Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Dirty Pillows & Respect. Get it?

My dad always told me, “Never say something that at a later time you wish you hadn’t said…” That’s why I blog. Go home or go hard.  People who put things in writing I feel, have a bigger set of balls than the rest. You may not like me or maybe you do, but I always shoot pretty straight from the hip.

I never share things like this, but the more “out there” I become, the more people who follow, like, share, subscribe and friend me… I like to give you insight into my personality, head, heart and maybe just cast a little light that you’re not alone in dealing with BS.

I posted a very quick rant on Facebook today. It’s interesting to see who comments, privately emails and the people who actually pick up the phone concerned about me. Now that’s pretty amazing. Today, someone in the music business, who I consider a damn good friend, called just to check in.

Sure, I rant… we all do. But here’s a little tid bit on what you may not know.

I post photos of myself of fitness, work out, show outfits and clothing that I think I look good in. That’s my prerogative and my privilege as a woman. I also post things on different pages. For example, I don’t post rants on a band page. That really doesn’t have to do with music does it? J.  Any woman should be able to express herself and her sexuality in any way shape or form she sees fit. But? She shall deal with the consequences of her actions. I get that. But just so YOU know & understand, the people, the men who bother me the most, never saw those photographs or images. No swimsuit shots, no fitness modeling. Mostly me showing up looking like my usual crapola self from a work out, or in my dad’s 1970’s ripped navy blue sweatshirt I constantly wear & repair. That’s pretty much me on any given daily.

I had a kid contact me. I do school talks. Motivational tours. He was talking about suicide. Serious business people. I’m sure many of you don’t know sometimes I speak to 15,000 to 20,000 students in one week. Many at last chance schools for those who are really messed up, or chemical dependency centers for young adults. Again, serious, raw & gritty stuff. You’d never know that looking at me. But it’s what I do during some of my days.  



This child was at the end of his rope, literally, from being bullied and picked on. And I get it. It was all I dealt with in school, and I deal with it still. I’m just stronger and can now handle it. This kid couldn’t. I have code words I give the students at these motivational talks. They can find me anywhere by writing those words in a subject line. That’s a big S.O.S or 911. So I dropped everything and called the child.

We got to the bottom of it. Parents were notified and I called the school the next morning. They helped and got the boy to a safe place. They thanked me for calling.  Least I could do.

A week later though, now an “official” had my cell. And? The “texts” started coming in… Really? Was that really necessary? No. It wasn’t. Again, I deal with it a lot being a decent looking woman.

“Report the person who did that!” “Get them fired!” Not a chance. That book gets closed. I said my words to that official, but these scenarios everyone is so quick to think they know how they would handle it… you don’t. And you wouldn’t. Me blowing the whistle get some pretty important people I know in trouble. It makes them look badly and paints them in a negative light for giving me a chance to talk at a school. So quiet I stay.

The same thing happened in TNA wrestling. When I went to management with a severe sexual harassment complaint. Again, me saying one word would have eliminated all funds and investments from their financial lifeline. No one really knows about that either. Jerry Jarret wrote about it in his last book though. If I would have opened my mouth everyone would have lost their jobs, their dreams and for some their last chance. Not on my watch. The man calling and leaving me messages, cornering me, basically offering to rape me at any given minute worked for Panda Electric in TX. He was their financial liaison. He eventually was fired from Panda for embezzlement. I could have had the biggest lawsuit ever. I had all the proof. It was disgusting. But watching my peers and some of my friends climb the ladder of success was more important. Ironically I was let go from TNA for false rumors from a wrestler, that I would sue TNA Wrestling if I took a bad bump… No hard feelings. Business is business, but I think if I were going to sue, I would have done it already. J

Just a little insight into my life, why I get hot about bags of douche bothering me that I really don’t even know. It’s about respect really. Respect the women you see out there. For the most part, we are pretty cool chicks. Just making our way the only way we know how. J Some in pants, some in short skirts, some in dress blues. However you slice it, we should be given some respect for just putting up with what a lot of us do.

That much I know. @Goldyknows




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